I've made a habit of living for days that take me away. The days that take away your pain and sadness. Days that sweep you away from reality. On those days, you feel like everything's going to be ok in the end.

You feel like you're ok.

Yesturday was one of those days. I was finally able to see Spring Awakening, and I have to say that I'm completely blown away. Seriously guys, please go and see it. Everything about this show is captivating. The characters, story, lighting, set, and music. All of it, absolutely beautiful. I fell in love with this show after brought it to my attention earlier in the year. We were going to sing "Mama who Bore me (reprise)" and "My Junk" for our school's festival of the arts. It took all but a few hours for this show to weasle it's way into my heart, and become my new addiction. But I realized, it wasnt just the show that made me smile. It was the people I was with.

It was 's birthday, and she invited Claire, Danny, Joe and I to the show to celebrate. It's funny how I can't think of a way to accurately describe how happy that made me. Laughing with Claire about inside jokes that are YEARS old, and dreaming about being on stage with Molly and Danny. Sitting with Joe at the show, and having him wipe a tear off my face because I'm overly emotional and got wrapped up in the story. My friends. They made it so easy, to let go.

After the show, we got to go and meet the cast members. Joe and I got the hugs and autographs that we wanted, and waited for the rest to finish. We we're standing on what looked like the roof from HSM 3. So being the dorks that we are, we started skipping around like idiots. We laughed to the point that he cried and I had to stop and breath or I would have passed out. I think it will always amaze me, how he makes me feel lighter and safe. How I cant help but smile. I'm in love with my best friend. What more can you ask for?

I woke up this morning, went to work, and was tossed head first back to reality. When I walked through the door after work, I looked over and saw my pile of VCU stuff. I leave on Sunday. I'm nervous, but anxious. I want the freedom. I want to believe that I can handle all of that independence. I want to be able to be the little adult that I keep telling myself I am. I want to be able to succeed. To be able to accomplish something. To be an artist. I want to be able to create something from nothing, to be able to escape to my world of make-believe that I control. My future. I want to be in control.

I just dont know if I am.